Worth it

Ever watch extreme home makeover? You know when they say “Move that bus” and the family freaks out. Then they walk inside and see their rooms. They completely lose it & cry their eyes out.

 I mean…seriously? Get a hold of yourself. Is it really necessary you to cry like that? It seemed fake to me. No one really cries like that in real life.

 As it turns out…people do. and I am one of those people. Never thought I would be. I mean, uncontrollably crying. Overcome with joyful emotion. Speechless. Nothing leaves me speechless. Trust me. I could make conversation with a brick wall.

Something did leave me speechless. An act of genuine kindess. If you didn’t know the whole story but just knew the act you might say “Oh that’s so sweet.”

Yes it is sweet, but I would not have cried uncontrollably to the point where I couldn’t say a word over…sweet.

 Seven months ago I was guarded. extremely guarded. Guarded because of some wounds. A broken friendship. More than that, really. To me it was a shattered friendship. One that seemed so strong for a few months and then abruptly torn into shreds. I was done. Done with friends. Didn’t need them. Thought I was better off without. Hurt turned into anger. Anger turned into indifference. Indifference turned into forgiveness. Forgiveness turned into healing. Eventually I was, for the most, over it. But still guarded. Still cautious. Still fearful.

Ironically enough, the same place I met that friend who made me so guarded was the same place I met the one who would introduce me to ten of my very best friends now.

One of those friends, being Stephanie. The first night I met her I found out that she was Kelly Moore’s assistant. I realize that you may not know who Kelly Moore is. I had been following Kelly’s photography work for years. Admired it for years. Studied it for years. She was very much like a celebrity to me. I could not believe that THE Kelly Moore’s assistant was in the same room as me. Lame, I know. But if you’re in the photography business, you more than likely know who Kelly Moore is & would not think it was lame.

The first night of meeting Steph and the rest of the group my guards were definitely up. But stood no chance against their love, kindness & acceptance.I never even knew friendship like this exsisted. To make a long story, well..no as long, I fell in love with these people. We all became very close. They encouraged me to follow my passions. Because of them, I am finally quitting a job that I was too fearful to leave. And have been at for five years.

Fear stole the past five years & they gave it back.

Ok, back to the act of kindness. Kelly Moore designes beautiful bags for photographers(really for anyone, but they have inserts for lens/camera/laptop)

She does these bag giveaways every month. & every month I would try to come with something creative to win and never did. One thing you should know, Kelly has almost 13,000 followers on twitter & even more on facebook. I say that to say, pretty much all her followers are very creative. Way more creative than me. So I never won a bag. But still determined, I always tried. & was going to keep trying until I owned a Kelly Moore bag.

One night, me & Steph went on a goodwill shopping date. She has an amazing eye. She is always finding these awesome vintage goodies. I love going with her. She was telling me about an estate sell she went to that morning and was going to show me all the stuff she got there when we went back to her place. We shopped and ate. I told her that I had the strangest dream that I got a Kelly Moore bag for Christmas. How shocked and excited I was to get one. We laughed about it.

Finally we headed back to her house. She said “Hey, all my stuff is in the trunk of my car. Let me show you what I found.” Like I said, she finds amazing stuff. and that morning was no exception. I ooh’d over her vintage finds. and then she said “Oh and well.. I got you something.” I thought she found it at the estate sell. So I just assumed it was something funny. She said “It’s in this box right here. You can go ahead and open it.” I laughed and said “Oh Steph what did you ge…” when I lifted up the lid I saw a white Kelly Moore bag (what the bags comes in)

Me: What….What is that?????

Steph: It’s yours.

Me: No. No…. it’s not. I can’t.

& then it happened. I started crying like people do when they see their new house for the first time. I understood now. I understood why those tears came. Why no words can come out. Because for those 20 to 30 seconds, my life for the past year flashed before my eyes. All of that hurt. That pain. Those scars. Those guards. My precious friends. My new found courage to quit my job and follow my passion. & then this.

As tears continued to pour out. Stephanie said

“I just wanted to give you this. I am so encouraged by your story. I am so proud of you for following what Christ has called you to do. & I know He’s going to do great things with you.”

You see, this bag is not just a bag. It is a symbol of where God has picked me up from my darkness & carried me to beautiful light. It is a symbol of Christ saying to me “Look. Wasn’t this worth it?”  Oh it was. It was so worth it.

You want a Kelly Moore bag? Go here – KellyMooreBag.com

(Mine is the Kelly Boy in mustard)

Read about Stephanie from Kelly’s blog – http://kellymoorebag.com/blog/?p=8552